A Slice of Heaven with a Touch of Hell
by plezzamonk
Summary: Love is strange and indefinable. It can be a walk in the park or a hard bite on the throat. It can be anything and everything to the many different people who walk the earth. For Edward and Jasper, it's sneaking into the forest to escape the harsh eye of a society that would judge them. Perhaps it's also a hard bite to the throat. AH, Controlward, Mature Themes
1. Release

**The characters are not mine. The beautiful kinky ways they love each other are, so no stealing.**

**Chapter 1: Release**

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His hands are everywhere, squeezing my flesh, palming my ass, scratching my back and thighs. I feel stretched and battered. His pounding is relentless. Everything is on fire—the air, my body, my world.

"I'm gonna make you come so fucking hard," he says

I believe him. I can feel the tension building deep in my belly by the rubbing raw of every nerve ending I have. If I don't come soon I will die, and if I do, I also die. That's how good he is.

"Have you ever had someone like me?" he asks, but I can't think straight. He rams himself into me, forcing my cry. "Answer me"

"No. You… special."

"Damn fucking straight. You like it when I fuck this tight little ass. You wanna fuck my ass, baby?"

"Yes. God, yes," I say. I have been dreaming of his ass since the first day he dropped to his knees to suck my cock.

He chuckles, but it's strained. He's ready to come himself. "Soon. I want you desperate before I give that to you."

"I am. I am, I am, I am," I say. My arms are trembling. I feel as though I'll collapse at any second. "Please."

"God. Come for me, Jasper. Show me how much you love my cock."

It's too much. It's all too much. I can feel my balls tightening as his bounce off mine with every thrust. His touch is rough and real. His cock pulses in my ass, hitting places only he can hit. Like an electric surge, my orgasm ignites my spine and spills from my body, landing in streams across the forest floor. With a rocky groan and violent spasms, Edward fills his condom with his own pleasure, stilling for a breath of a moment and then collapsing on top of me.

The birds begin calling again after our noises die into silence, and the rustling of trees accompanies the breeze I've been feeling. Edward pulls out and shifts, turning me to look at him. His kisses are sweet, but controlling, just like he is. I never knew I could love something so much.

"Mmm, was that good for you?" he says, a twinkle in his eye.

I laugh and trail my kisses down his jaw to his neck and chest as I say, "I may need another taste, just to see."

"If you insist." A pressure at the top of my head guides my mouth to a stirring cock, which both amuses and exasperates me.

"Baby, you know we can't. You might be able to skip class whenever you want, but it's a bit different for me."

"We've got fifteen minutes. If you can't make me come in fifteen minutes, I'll finish myself off."

He doesn't take no for an answer. Stroking himself with one hand and gripping my hair with the other, he gets us into position. "That's it, baby. Just like that," he says as I open for him. "God, you're such a dirty little slut, aren't you? Letting me fuck that mouth after I fucked your ass?"

If he's not careful he's going to give me another erection, and I'm just not as young and virile as I used to be. Hell, I don't think I was ever as horny as him, even when I was his age.

"Roll over," he says after I've worked on him for a minute. I've made him good and hard, and now he's ready to drive into me. We roll together onto our sides, him a little above me. "Fuck, you're so good to me, baby. I love it when you choke on my cock like that."

Damn it, I can feel myself wanting him again, but it will never happen. I need at least a half hour of recovery before I can come, and that's best case scenario. If this takes the full fifteen minutes, I'll need to walk into my after-lunch class with a clipboard hiding my crotch. With a careful caress so I don't accidentally poke something tender as he pistons his hips, I work my fingers into the crack of his ass, and then circle the middle around the rim of his hole. I like it when he chokes, too, and I don't even need my cock down his throat. When I push inside, his thrusts become erratic, until eventually he comes, hot and salty, into my mouth. He curses up a storm.

"I fucking love it when you do that," he says, "even if it does make me feel like a noob."

"You're seventeen, Edward. You are a noob."

"I've had ten times as much sex as you," he says, his eyes lighting up with his mirth. I love how green they are. "How old are you again?"

"Shut it," I say as I pull on my pants. He knows I'm not fond of our age difference. "You should be getting ready too. It's your senior year. You can't afford to fall behind."

"I have As in everything except History. Why the hell did you give me a B, anyway?"

I stop working at my tangled shirt and sigh. "I made a mistake. I overcompensated because of our relationship."

"Which one? The one where I fuck your brains out in the woods or the one where I live in your house while you pretend to be married to my sister?"

Not this again. "Edward, please. I married Alice long before I met you. You can't just wish it away."

"I don't see why you can't divorce her. You're fucking gay." He tugs at his pants, jumping a little to get his feet through, and buttons them with purpose. "I don't think what you're doing is fair to her."

"What _I'm_ doing? We're in this together! You really think I want to hurt her this way? I stayed the fuck away from men when I married her, and then you had to come along and change everything."

Edward enjoys cussing whenever there's a word he can replace with shit, damn, and especially fuck, but he knows that when I cuss it's because I'm pissed. He takes a breath to calm himself and sidles up next to me, slipping his hands around my waist and swaying. The gentle path of his hands relaxes my muscles, but there's one more thing I have to say before I let go of my anger.

"I don't like it when you fuck that girl."

"You stop fucking my sister and I'll stop fucking that girl," he says as his lips nip at the skin on my neck. "You know I don't want her the way I want you."

"I haven't had sex with Alice in months."

"But you will if she complains. That's the way you are, baby. You're a pleaser. I fucking love that about you, but I don't like when you please other people." His fingers dig into my ribs and his teeth come out to play. "I want you all to myself."

"Give me time?" I ask, and Edward sighs but nods.

It's been this way for a month now. He fucks me and then gets angry that I go home to sleep in his sister's bed. I want to be with him more than I thought I could ever want anything, but he's a teenager—my student—and I'm married. Someday I'll make him happy, but for now we have to live this fractured life, taking our few minutes and accepting our places in this goddamned world.

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**A/N: Let me know what you thought, my loves. Reviews are always appreciated. I think I'm going to write a few more chapters on this, maybe give Ed and Jas their happy ending, but it _may_ stay a one-shot, just so you know.**


	2. Retribution

**Thanks so much for the great reviews! I honestly didn't expect anyone to read this. **  
**The characters are not mine. The beautiful kinky ways they love each other are, so no stealing.**

**Chapter 2: Retribution**

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Chirp, chirp, titter, chirp—it's incessant and I have a headache. There was a time when I loved hearing Alice talk. She had so many interesting things to say and her energy amused me. I resent her now, which makes be ill because I don't know if I truly think she's done something wrong or if I'm trying to ease my own guilt in what will probably be the end of our marriage.

"You aren't listening to a single word I've said," she almost shrieks. She's not trying to yell; she's naturally loud and high-pitched. It confuses me why this makes me more angry than if she were actually yelling.

"You're headed for Barcelona for a week."

"I leave in two days. Make sure Edward has everything he needs. I posted a list on the fridge of the food he likes, and maybe you two can spend some time together. You never hang out just the guys."

"Alice," I interrupt as she moves on to another topic, "you've traveled countless times since we were married and at least twice since Edward came to live with us. I've always handled things."

"I know, but I just want to make sure."

"Alice—"

"My flight leaves on Thursday—"

"Just stop! I know all this. You don't have to micromanage everything I do."

Having grown up on a ranch in Texas, far outside any city limits, silence and I have become well acquainted, but the silence in this bedroom is not the same as the silence of fresh air and horseshit. This silence is angry hurt. It's large and stifles the room with heavy arms, holding me in everlasting tension.

"Is that what I do?" Alice asks, and I want to cringe at how quiet her voice has gotten. She's not meant to be quiet. "I didn't know you felt that way."

"I don't," I say, even though I do. I should tell her how I feel, at least a little. Let her start seeing the problem, so it won't surprise her too much when I leave her. "I just have a headache is all."

She sighs a small sigh, relief evident in her lowered shoulders. "Well, then, I know the perfect cure for a headache."

Before I realize what's happening, my wife is on her knees working at the zipper of my slacks. I notice how small her hands are when she wraps them around my cock and all I can think is how the only person I want touching me has big hands with long callused fingers from his guitar playing. It's not that it doesn't feel nice; it's just not what I want. She takes me in her mouth, sucking and licking like she does. It's not rough enough. Not controlled enough. But I let her because I fucking feel bad, even though I know I'll only feel bad after too, but it will be worse because I'll be hurting Edward. This orgasm should be his. More than a half hour later, I finally work myself up enough to come.

"Feel better, Jassy?" she says, crawling into my lap. I nod, but I'm lying. I feel as if my heart has split in two.

.

Edward knows. He can see it in the way I avoid his eyes and hear it in my silence. He doesn't know it was just a blowjob, but he knows it was something, and that's what matters. He's started bringing that girl over. I don't think they've done anything in the past few days, but I know Edward and I know it's coming. If sitting back and watching him betray me is a rock, tossing the girl out so we can talk it out is a hard place. Neither is very appealing.

It's Friday and the third night in a row that Bella is lounging in Edward's lap. They're watching a movie, something stupid that neither of them is laughing at, which tells me they're paying some special attention to each other. The exact kind of special attention is made obvious when Bella whimpers into Edward's shoulder and writhes.

I should leave, let him have his revenge. But I can't. I can't fucking _let_ this happen. Knowing in the abstract is different than seeing it happen with my own eyes. My feet move and then my mind catches up. My anger flares anew when I meet Edward's beautiful eyes and he continues to finger-fuck that little bitch.

"Bella, I think you should go," I say, startling the hell out of her. Her cheeks light up like a Christmas tree and she hurries to button her jeans. She doesn't even wait to say goodbye to Edward before she's out the door. I almost feel sorry for her.

"You got a problem?" Edward says, draping his arms over the back of the couch, so casual. "I was just having a little fun with my girlfriend."

"She's not your fucking girlfriend."

"Oh, she's definitely a fucking girlfriend. We fucked in the car before we got here."

I see red everywhere. I want to strangle him for trying to hurt me. "I don't have a choice! I'm married. You are just a horny little fuck who can't keep it in his pants."

"Maybe I am. Maybe that's all I want you for, too. Did you ever think of that? I'll marry Bella someday and have your perfect little bullshit life."

"So that's it, huh?" I say, breathing heavy through my nose. "I'm just someone you fuck around with for fun."

He stands and lifts his chin to appear taller even though he's several inches shorter than me. "Fuck yes. You think I care about you? I don't care about you! You're… you're nothing to me," he says, his voice cracking, and I realize with unbridled horror that Edward is about to cry. "Shit!"

It takes me a minute to follow after him. In all the time I've known Edward, I have never seen him cry. He didn't seem the type. At least I'm unsurprised when I reach his room and hear him blasting his music. When Edward first moved in, I fought with Alice about putting a lock on his door. A grown boy needs his privacy, I said, but she didn't agree. Now I'm grateful I won't have to take the door off its hinges, but not so grateful for the sight that greets me. My Edward is face down on his bed, shoulders shaking as he sobs into his pillow.

The first thing I do is reach over and turn off the stereo. In a flash, Edward is off his bed and in my face telling me to get the fuck out of his room. He pushes and kicks, but I don't move. He reminds me so much of his age right now that I can feel myself falling apart, but I can't let myself. I need to let him be seventeen, let him be hurt and angry and hate me. I can do that for him.

"Why won't you just leave me the fuck alone! I don't fucking want you anymore!" he screams. "We're through! Fucking done!"

My throat is swollen, but I manage, "I love you."

"You don't fucking love shit! You're a player. You fuck with my sister and with me and who else? Huh? Who the fuck else?"

"I only love you."

"You don't! You fucking don't!"

The hitting stops so abruptly that I almost fall forward from meeting no resistance, and then backward when Edward collapses into me, clutching my shirt in white fists. My arms wrap around him of their own volition, an immediate reaction to his distress. Why can't he see that this isn't as simple as wanting to be with each other? There are parts we must play for now.

For several long minutes, he hangs off me, crying and wheezing, and then he jerks his head to look me in the eyes, and I swallow at the determination, longing, and fear I see there. "Where did it happen?" he asks, but he already knows the only place Alice and I are intimate is the bedroom. When I don't answer, he straightens and strides down the hall into my room. He knows I'll follow.

"The bed? Show me," he says. I sit in my spot on the bed, where I watched Alice pack her bags for her trip. Edward crawls on top of me, grinding himself down on me and licking at my neck. "Was it like this? Did she ride your cock?"

"No."

He doesn't relent his grinding, which is distracting, but he does pull back to look in my eyes. His fingers dig into my chin as he holds me there. "How? What did you do?"

"She was on her knees. She sucked it."

"Did she get you off?"

The sigh that comes is for both the pleasure I feel being so close to him and the pain of my admission. "You know she did."

"How long did it take her to get off _my_ cock?" he says as he stands to remove his pants. Next he works on mine.

"About forty minutes."

It was easier when Alice pulled me out of my pants, since my dick was flaccid and pliable. With Edward I'm hard as granite, and I tell him of the difference before he thinks to ask.

"You are only hard for me," he says, half self-reassurance and half a command, as he strokes me. "I'm going to suck you just like she did, but fuck if you get to come. You already did that with her."

Wrong. Edward does not suck me just like Alice. Edward knows what he's doing. He works me with purpose, hitting all the spots I like. With Alice, forty minutes was the soonest I could come. With Edward, lasting that long will take everything I have.

"Promise me you won't come," he says after my loud, gasping groan. "Prove to me that you love me more that her."

"I promise. I fucking promise." I also cuss when Edward does these naughty things to me. I can't seem to help it. "It… wasn't like this. No one but… you."

"Fuck you. If it were only me you wouldn't have done shit with my sister."

He uses his tongue to stroke the under rim of my head, and I figure I should just shut up if I'm going to survive this. Surely ten minutes have passed already, but a look at the clock tells me it's only been three. It's wrong to pray to God in moments like this, but I do so anyway. Please, God, help me prove to this beautiful boy that I love him.

With a pop, Edward says, "Did she touch you here?" and grabs my balls in a rolling grip. I nod because I've vowed not to talk and make things worse, and because I'm not sure I can.

When Edward's fingers move back toward my scrotum and ass, I break. "Please, baby. Please. She didn't do that. Fuck. I won't… I can't… not if you touch me there. Please, please…."

"Touch me how you touched her," he says, thankfully returning his hand to my balls. "What did you say to her?"

The same gentle fingers I used on my wife I use on my Edward, and his nose crinkles just like I thought it might. Edward doesn't usually like gentle—not this kind, a barely-there brush of his hair and cheek. "I said mmmm a lot. And… yeah, right there. And that's it, honeybee."

A long, painful draw tells me he's not happy with my answer, and my hands become less gentle as a result. There's nothing I want more than to grab his head and shove my cock down his throat, except to prove myself to him. "You don't call her that anymore," he says

"Baby, she's my wife—"

"Fuck that. You might not be able to leave her tomorrow, but you can stop pretending you love her. No more."

"Okay, no more," I say, because it's the least I can do.

I want to come so fucking bad I can taste it. It helps me keep my cool that he's removed his hand from my balls, but if I look down I know I'll see him jerking off. It will undo me.

"Baby," I groan, "I need a break. Please. Oh, God, please."

"You want a fucking break?" he says, shoving me to lie back on the bed. He's on top of me in the space of a second, forcing his cock past my lips. There is nothing soft of slow in the way he fucks my mouth. He drives into me, intending to make me choke. "Fucking take what you asked for, you dirty little slut. Fucking goddamned whore. Don't you ever touch her again. I don't care if she begs. If you need to get off, you come to me."

I need air. Lord knows I don't want to answer him, but I need to breath. Just when I think this might be too much, he pulls out and drops back to his knees, working my cock ever harder with his experienced tongue. I know he was involved in a lot of messed up shit in Chicago, but I don't think I could take knowing how he got so good at this by the age of seventeen. If he ever wants to tell me, I'll listen, but I can't promise I won't want to kill some bastards.

Thinking of Edward's past helps some, but it's not something I like thinking about. Baseball scores don't work for me. I could think of Alice, but that makes me feel like the biggest douchebag there ever lived. Angry dogs, then. I never was a fan of dogs, the creepy little monsters. Ten minutes to go. I can't do this. I can't hold off. Eight minutes. I have to. If I don't, I lose the only good thing that's ever happened to me. Four minutes. Why the fuck is the clock ticking so slow? Someone must have altered it. Two minutes. Please, God, I beg of you, let me not come. One minute. Thirty seconds. Ten… nine… eight….

"Baby, baby, that's forty. Fuck, Edward, stop. Please."

He shoves me back on the bed, just like he did before, only this time he yanks down my slacks to my ankles, leaving me bare and pointed toward the ceiling to the left. He stands over me with his cock in his hand, working himself in a frenzy.

"Your cock is mine," he says. "All. Fucking. Mine. I don't want her mouth on it. I don't want her pussy on it. I don't want her to accidentally brush it with her fucking hand. The only person who gets to suck, fuck, and hold your cock is me." He's red-faced and tense, and so fucking beautiful. "Are we understood?"

"Yes," I say. "I'm so fucking sorry."

With a grunt that turns quickly into a strangled whine, he shoots his cum all over my dick, balls, and ass. I'm sure it's on the bed too, marking me as his in this spot where she had me. The way it feels dripping from my skin pulses in my dick, and I want so very badly to come, but I won't. Not tonight. There will be more, I'm sure of it. He'll fuck me, both my ass and mouth, maybe more than once, and I will be expected to suffer my desire. If this helps him, I can take it. I can take everything he gives me.

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**A/N: So, they're both kind of assholes, but I love them that way. Let me know what you think! Also, I have an interesting poll on my profile for anyone who wants to participate. If anyone has any recs for me, from any fandom, I'm game. I'm all about the kink ;)**


	3. Resilience

**Once again, thank you for the fab reviews! I'm so glad you all seem to like these beautiful, troubled men.  
****The characters are not mine. The beautiful kinky ways they love each other are, so no stealing.**

**Chapter 3: Resilience**

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The day is moving more quickly than I would like. Not only is my tryst in the woods with Edward entirely too short, but Alice will be home when I get there. I made sure when I assigned the workload this week that I would have plenty to grade, and even though I'm only prolonging the inevitable, I send a text letting her know I'm staying late.

Alice isn't normally a sexual woman. At the beginning of our relationship, she did what I needed her to do, but left well enough alone when I was content. In later years we hardly connected in that intimate way at all, and both of us are perfectly accepting of that arrangement. The only exception is fashion. Where others get off on porn, Alice gets off on absurd outfits strutting down runways. Barcelona was a big fashion show for her, so I'm sure she won't be happy with my absence.

Less than a minute later I find out I'm right. She's furious. She demands that I come home and strip her naked, but I won't. Part of me is overjoyed that I've taken this step. The rest of me is petrified. I've been with Alice since we were twenty—sixteen years of marriage down the drain. Everything is going to change.

.

The week is hell. Alice has tried to corner me three times, forcing me to be direct with her. It's led to squabbles over dishes and blowouts over bills, but never about the thing I know she wants to yell at me for. What woman wants to acknowledge that her husband isn't attracted to her? My only sanity comes from Edward, who I find smirking sometimes when he catches us fighting. I can see it in his eyes that he doesn't like finding comfort in his sister's unhappiness, but the situation is what it is. For us to be happy, I have to break Alice's heart.

Making love with Edward has been rather subdued. We're limited to our lunch hour, which usually makes one or both of us frantic, but this week has been slow. Sometimes we don't have sex at all. On Wednesday, Edward has made it to our place before me and is laying back on a blanket, soaking in the sun. There won't be too many more days like this with winter approaching, and then we'll be forced into the abandoned classroom on the far end of campus.

When I lie down beside him, he curls into my side and hums, his fingers tracing the buttons on my shirt and his voice soft like melting caramel. "I know things are fucked up right now, but you should know… I've never felt shit like this with anyone else. You make my world feel right."

His eyes are so green in the sunlight, even greener than usual. There's a smile in them that is only barely visible on his lips, and my heart aches so good. I want to love this boy forever. "Someday we won't have to hide," I say, brushing his hair away from his face so I can see him better. "When you're eighteen and after Alice and I have been separated for a while, we'll tell everyone."

"You wanna get married some day?" he asks so casually I almost think he's asking about the History assignment. "Some people don't want to if they've been divorced, but I think I might want to marry you some day if you're up for it." His eyes sparkle. "You up for it, old man?"

"Oh, I can always be up for you, baby," I say, chuckling at his playfulness. And then I sigh. "I don't know. You know what my childhood was like. I was brought up to love and marry one woman 'til death do us part."

"Well, that's horseshit in a barrel," Edward says in a scary imitation of my accent.

"I don't say that!"

"You so fucking do," he says, laughing. "I'm gonna marry you someday, so you know. I'll drag you down the aisle if I have to."

"You won't have to."

"Mean it?"

"I mean it," I say.

Marriage. The boy is seventeen and already thinking about marriage. I can't deny the thought thrills me. My hometown was small and bible-belt Christian, where marrying a man is as far from an option as Pluto is from the Sun. It wasn't even a planet! Edward quirks an eyebrow when he hears me laughing at my lame internal joke, but I simply kiss him and keep chuckling. I can live my Hell with Alice if God keeps granting me perfect moments like this.

.

I have been praying the whole way to Chicago that Esme and Carlisle will, by some small miracle, miss the tension between my wife and me. It's a vain hope. Nearly the second we walk through the door I can see the speculation in Esme's eyes. That woman is far too perceptive for my liking. The three of us—Edward, Alice, and I—shrug off our coats and hang them in the closet, and then Alice heads to the kitchen to help Esme prepare the feast while us men join Carlisle in the backyard, where he's trying to deep fry a turkey.

"I can't believe you actually bought this thing," Edward says to his father. "I was hoping for some actual tradition and here I get Kentucky meets the Pilgrims."

"Shush. Jasper, come over here and check this gauge. Is that right?"

I lean over and check the settings on the fryer. "Yup. You're right on track."

"Oh, thank God. Esme would have killed me for ruining the bird."

I chuckle and scratch at my cheek. I love this man and I think I might love his wife even more. It pains me that what I'm doing to Alice will hurt them too, but maybe, when all the dust has settled, they'll still accept me as their son. It occurs to me, not for the first time, how strange and awful it is of me to jump from one sibling to another. If Edward weren't Alice's brother, I could make a clean break. It would hurt like hell to leave all these people behind, but it would be easier than trying to rearrange the puzzle pieces.

"Hey, you'd still love me if everything went to shit, right, Dad?"

I snap my wide eyes to Edward as Carlisle answers, "Of course. You don't even have to ask."

"Yeah, but I mean really shit. Like, our family in ruins kind of shit."

"Edward," Carlisle says, turning his back on the turkey for the first time, "has that man contacted you?"

"What? No! Why the fuck would you ask that?" Edward's eyes go wild, his movements twitchy and unclean. I've never seen him so untamed. "I would tell you."

"I'm just making sure. It's my job to keep you safe."

"Well, I'm fucking safe. I only meant if I did something bad, you would get over it, right? You wouldn't hold it against me for the rest of my life?"

I stand behind Carlisle, my lips pressed firm and my expression begging Edward to let it drop. Carlisle sighs. "Edward, if there's something you need to say, I would rather you tell me. You didn't… you didn't kill someone, did you?"

"Jeez, Carlisle," I say, setting a hand on his shoulder. "The kid's been living in Forks. If he had killed someone, I would know."

"All right, fine. What's this I hear about a girlfriend?" Carlisle asks, turning once more toward the frying bird. "I was under the impression you were fond of the less fairer sex."

"I am. Bella is just… a cover I guess. It's a small town."

"Now, Edward, I didn't raise you to mess around with people's hearts. I know you've been through a lot, but that doesn't excuse your actions." For the next twenty minutes, Carlisle lectures Edward on the wrongs of treating people like pawns, and I wonder as Edward meets my eyes if maybe he isn't enjoying making me squirm. The lecture, though directed at him, applies to both of us.

The discomfort carries over into dinner, where Esme asks time and time again about how married life is treating her daughter, and when she's going to be made a grandmother. The elephant in the room grows ever larger. After pie is served and devoured, I excuse myself to the washroom and wait for Edward to follow. I'm barely down the hall before I'm spun and pressed against the wall, my boy's lips all over me.

"You shouldn't have done that out there," I say. The words are hard to get out softly with him biting me just the way I like. "I'm working on it. If you tip my hand, we're done for, baby."

"You shouldn't have fucking kissed her." I'm lost in the pain from a hard scratch up my back, and I don't immediately remember what the hell he's talking about. "I should take you over my knee for the little display. The sweet doting husband in front of the mother-in-law. Fuck, I want to spank you red."

This is no good. If I get hard, Esme will notice, as she seems to notice everything. I always wondered if maybe she was a spy in her youth. "Baby, you can do whatever you need to when we get home. Right now, we have to cool it."

"I don't want to cool it," he says. "I want to take you out to the shed and fuck you 'til the only name you know is mine."

There's something nagging at me. This is a bad idea for some reason, but I can't quite wrap my mind around why. As he palms my cock and drags his lips across my skin, Edward whispers all the naughty things he wants to do to me out in that shed. All we have to do is wait until the house is quiet. I try to beg off halfheartedly by using the age of consent laws, but Edward assures me he's legal here in Illinois, too. I'm done for.

After a round of leftovers, Edward excuses himself to bed. The flight was long, he was up late last night, and a bundle of other reasonable excuses. Esme and Alice aren't far behind him, leaving me and Carlisle to share a nightcap. Things at the hospital are going well for him, but he's thinking of signing onto a private practice. He's just not as young as he used to be. I try to commiserate, but all it does is remind me how young Edward is, and damn it, I don't want to think about that right before I sneak off to be with him. Carlisle heads on up, and I make up some such about needing to drink a glass of water. I can't go into my shared room with Alice only to leave again, whether she's awake to know it or not.

"There you are," Edward says, pulling me into him the second I open the shed door. "I've been waiting forever."

"Your dad wouldn't go to bed."

"Sounds like Dad. Damn, baby, you're already hard for me."

"You think I wouldn't be after what you pulled in the hallway?" I ask, relieving myself of my shirt and shoes. Edward is already in his boxers and wrapped in a blanket to stave off the cold.

In a corner of the sizable shed is a pallet of blankets and pillows Edward has laid out for us and a lantern just bright enough to see the contours of his muscles. This boy's body is something from my dreams, soft lines and divots revealing strength on a lean frame. He works hard to maintain this body, and it's a gift that he would share it so eagerly with me.

"Are you going to spank me?" I ask, and I know he can hear the want in my voice.

"Get on all fours," he says, giving my ass a quick swat. I'm naked except for my socks—Edward doesn't want me to get cold.

Why is it that I need to be under this young man's power? Why do I feel safer when he controls me? I don't know. I don't really care. I'm not ashamed of myself when I'm with him. It's the only time in thirty-six years I've ever felt this way. The first swat comes down hard on my left cheek, making me gasp, and then moan when he rubs the tenderness away. He slaps me again, just below the first. Three come in quick succession on the right cheek.

"Please, please," I beg.

Another slap hard across my right cheek. "What is it you want, Jasper?"

"Your cock, baby. Please fuck me."

"Your such a little slut. Fuck. Who's slut are you?"

He spanks me again, and then slaps softly but repeatedly against my balls, forcing from me a high, keening whine. "Your slut. I'll always be your slut."

"Mhmm, my slut. And you think I should fuck my slut?"

"Fuck, baby," I gasp. "Please fuck me."

The tapping on my balls stops, thank fucking God, and then I feel the familiar slide of Edward's lubed fingers at my hole, preparing me. He's inside me not a moment later, his pace relentless. "Come," he says, and with his hand stroking me as he fucks me this hard, there's no way I'll last. If Edward wants me to come, I will come, and I do. The feeling is so intense, my scream is silent save a whistling intake of air.

"That's it, baby," Edward says, his voice ragged. "Come for me. Is that what you wanted?"

Though it's inadequate to describe all I'm feeling, I say, "Yes."

"Good. Now hold still."

With renewed vigor, Edward grips my hips and pumps into me at a speed I won't be able to match. He takes much longer than he should, and I realize he must be doing this on purpose. After several minutes, I feel myself rising to the occasion. When I curse, Edward laughs.

"You are a little slut, aren't you?" Edward says through heavy breaths. "I'm going to make you come again."

"Edward, I can't. I can't. Please."

"You can. Don't fucking tell me no."

When his driving become erratic and then slows to purposeful, deep thrusts, I know he's close, but I also know he won't come until he's had his fun. He reaches around and strokes me just as he did before, and it feels so good I want to cry. He shifts, and oh, God, that feels good, but when he shifts again, fucking shit, that's the spot.

"Right there. Fuck."

"Come for me."

"Edward, I… I… shit…."

I can't take much more of this. I'll break. Fall to pieces like humpty-dumpty and never get put back together again. The hand that's not stroking me is caressing my back, my ass, my thigh. He tells me to come, a whisper. I can hear how much he loves me. I can feel it. And fuck if I don't start crying as I come all over the blanket beneath me.

"Shhh, that's it. Good boy. I'm so proud of you."

"I love you," I say, trying desperately not to let my tears clog my throat. "I love you so much."

"I know. I love you too."

Not too much longer, Edward comes inside of me, and it's the best feeling in the whole world. When he pulls out, he folds himself in my arms and kisses me. Soft, sweet, healing kisses. Not hungry, but still insistent. I should tell him what I've been thinking about, but I don't want him to think it's the sex talking, so I wait a few minutes more.

"Why are you so good to me?" I ask. "I've been such an ass."

Edward looks up at me, his eyes so full of wonder under those thick eyelashes. "I've been treated pretty shitty, and that's a fucking understatement. My life was a fucking endless nightmare before I came to Forks." He takes a breath and shakes his head. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Jasper Whitlock."

"I'm going to ask Alice for a divorce. I figure… after the holidays—"

I'll explain later, because right now my boy's lips are on mine and there's nothing else I'd rather do with them than kiss him silly, like the grin that's now plastered on his face.

* * *

**A/N: A little bit of sugar to offset the spice, and then… well, shit. What do you guys think? I told some of you this story would be maybe five chapters, but I honestly don't know. The story is in my head, I just can't seem to figure out how long it will take to tell it.**

**If you haven't checked it out yet, there's a poll on my profile for all you little kinksters. I'm a curious lady.**

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**lellabeth rec'd this oneshot, _Safe in Harbor_ by sadtomato and I LOVED it. Thanks so much!**

/s/8957151/1/Safe-in-Harbor  
_Carlisle is struggling, two years after losing the love of his life. His best friend sends him on a tropical vacation with strict instructions to cut loose, but Carlisle can't seem to let himself relax. Enter Edward, a fun-loving college student who has an appreciation for sexy older men..._

**If you guys have any other recs of the slightly kinky to ridiculously kinky variety, don't be shy!**


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